


When the World Ends

by pinksky_redclouds



Series: Fiveya Week Fics [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, F/M, Five misses Vanya, Fiveya Week Day 1, Headcanons do count for some extra non canon scenes, I'm late I know, Oneshot, Songfic, This Is Sad, This is basically just angst with a dash of hopefulness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinksky_redclouds/pseuds/pinksky_redclouds
Summary: When the world ends, memories are all Number Five has left. He holds on to his memories of Vanya the most, never once letting himself forget how much he loved her.It was the only thing that kept him going for all those years.(Just a little angsty songfic oneshot I wrote for Fiveya week.)





	When the World Ends

**Author's Note:**

> So... this is a day late, but who cares cause I did it! This is my first time participating in any kind of fic challenge, and my basic ass just wrote a songfic based off of the day 1 prompt. The song is, fittingly, Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex. It's honestly one of my favorite songs and very fitting for these two, imo. Yes, I did skip some lyrics, but that was for the sake of flow. It's shorter than my usual fic endeavors, but I hope you like it!

_You leapt from crumbling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust_

Five got up from the dinner table and ran, away from the Academy that he'd been forced to call home. Away from the man who called himself their father.

Away from Vanya.

As he ran, Five threw one final glance at the girl he called his best friend. She was staring at him with those wide, beautiful brown eyes, and a look somewhere between resignation and sadness was on her face. It may have been his imagination, but her eyes seemed to be glassy with tears. Five felt a twinge of guilt as he made a break for it, out the door and through the gates.

He was leaving his only friend behind. She'd have no one after he left. But he'd already left their home behind, and it was too late to turn back now.

So he ran, and then he jumped.

_Filming helicopters crashing in the ocean from way above_

He saw the seasons change. From autumn to winter to spring, it all passed by in a flicker with each jump. Five grinned in delight, jumping forward for what would be the final time. He'd expected summer, people out walking their dogs and children running in the street. But the sight that greeted him was far worse than that.

The entire block was in ruins, with buildings reduced to rubble and flames still flickering from the wreckage. Panic filled him at the thought of what might have happened to the others. So he ran again, back the way he came this time. However, it was of to no avail when he tried to jump, leaving him trapped there. All that was left for him to do was to find whatever might be left of the Academy.

The building was in ruins, as he'd expected. It was still jarring for him to see, though, the building that took up an entire square block, that he'd lived in all his life, reduced to nothing. And… what had happened to his family? He shuddered at the thought that they might be gone for good.

"Vanya!" Hers was the first name that sprang from his lips. Five had never thought of himself as the type to need anyone, but if there was ever a time he needed Vanya, it was now. He needed to know that she was alright. If she was, there might be a chance for things to be okay.

_Got the music in you baby, tell me why_

He found bodies in the wreckage. A giant of a man with close-cropped hair that was still somewhat blond—Luther. A prosthetic eye was in his hand, and Five immediately took it. Another man with a long knife scar running across the side of his forehead that could only be Diego. He recognized Allison from her wild curls and distinctive face—she'd admittedly been rather pretty, even if he'd never paid much attention to her looks. Klaus was there too, facedown in the rubble, with a tattoo on his wrist that confirmed it was him, and needle scars on the same arm. They were all dead, no doubt killed by whatever had caused his world to be reduced to nothing. It was horrifying to see.

_Got the music in you baby, tell me why_

The only bodies he didn't find were Ben's… and Vanya's. Which meant that they had either died before this cataclysmic event happened, or they were still alive. Somewhere, somehow. He hoped the latter was true. It had to be.

The days went by, and Five found Vanya's autobiography in a library as he explored what was left of the planet. He studied her photograph printed on the back cover, running his fingers across it over and over and over again. Time ticked on, days turned into weeks and months and years, and he read that book repeatedly, never stopped staring at the photograph of Vanya on the back cover.

_You've been locked in here forever and you just can't say goodbye_

To Five, letting go was impossible. The memories of his old life were all he had. He clung to the remnants of the past like a lifeline, something that kept him going on days when the loneliness was unbearable and he was tempted to throw himself into oblivion.

He'd never been a very emotional person, but that changed after the end of the world. He let out every ounce of his anger and grief, no longer afraid to do so as there was no one around to see or hear him.

_Kisses on the foreheads of the lovers wrapped in your arms_

Delores was the one exception, the one witness to his grief. The doll he'd come to call a friend. Well, maybe more than a friend, despite some small part of what was left of Five's sanity reminding him that Delores was not alive and that if he kept this up, he'd lose his mind altogether. But speaking to her and trying to figure out what caused the apocalypse were the only things that kept him grounded in reality.

Five knew that the name Delores meant "sorrows" when he chose that moniker for her. It was poetic, in a way—his one companion being a reflection of his own grief.

Sometimes he pretended she was Vanya, imagining her responses based on things his best friend would have said to him. Chiding him about getting enough sleep and the amount of alcohol he was drinking, prodding him about his calculations being off—those things all reminded him of Vanya.

_You've been hiding them in hollowed out pianos left in the dark_

At night, he dreamed of her. Sometimes he relived old memories, but often it was his own fantasies that his mind nurtured in dreams. Ever since he'd been about twelve years old, he'd had thoughts like that about Vanya, and while he'd been disgusted with himself in childhood, as he grew older in a post-apocalyptic world, his old fantasies never bothered him anymore. He'd take any dream or thought involving Vanya at that point, as a reminder that once, a long time ago, someone real and living, someone with hopes and fears and feelings that weren't just a product of his own imagination, had loved him.

_Your lips, my lips, apocalypse_

He knew Vanya had loved him, of course, because she'd told him. Only once, but it was enough. The memory he held onto the tightest.

He'd been alone with her one afternoon, sitting on her bed and watching as she played the violin. He'd always enjoyed hearing her play, though usually he'd had to stand and listen at the door. Getting to watch her play was something he had not taken for granted—he'd drunk in every detail like a man dying of thirst. The way her soft dark hair fell in a curtain over her shoulders, the furrow of her brow as she concentrated on the music notes, the faraway look in her lovely eyes as the music took her mind to someplace else entirely.

When she'd finished her piece, he'd given her a rare, genuine smile that she quickly returned, her eyes shining in delight at his unspoken praise. He'd thought to himself then that she was beautiful, a fact he kept stored away in his mind through his years of solitude. But in that one quiet moment, the words had fallen from his lips before he could even think about stopping them.

"_I love you, Vanya."_

She'd moved closer to him, brows raising in surprise. _"You do?"_ Five had already begun to curse himself for speaking so freely, but he wouldn't dare lie to Vanya, especially about something so important as this, so he nodded. _"Yes. I do."_

That was when she'd bent to his level, grinning at him, and reached out to take his hand in her own. _"I love you too, Five."_

And before he could stop himself or change his mind, Five leaned forward and kissed her.

_Sharing all your secrets with each other since you were kids_

He replayed that memory constantly in his head, doing his best to remember every detail of that one kiss they'd shared. Vanya's lips had been so soft against his own, her breath hitching in her throat before she kissed him back, resting her palm against his cheek.

He'd told Delores about Vanya, once. Called her his best friend, the only one he'd really been able to confide in back at the Academy. It had taken years before he was able to speak of Vanya again, and tears had pricked the corners of his eyes as he admitted that he'd loved her.

Fuck, he missed Vanya so much.

_Sleeping soundly with the locket that she gave you clutched in your fist_

And then the Handler found him in his old age, offering him a job that he obviously accepted. The one thing he took with him was a copy of Vanya's book. He let the Commission make him into a killer, never letting anyone suspect that he was only biding his time, waiting for a chance to get back to his family.

To get back to Vanya.

He kept her book with him at all times, running his hands over her picture and the passage where she spoke about him—her sole confidant and best friend, and she'd even mentioned the "impulsive" first kiss between the two of them.

The hope that he might return to her, that she might still feel the same about him, was what kept him going for those last few years.

_When you're all alone, I will reach for you_

He clutched her book nervously as the portal materialized, hardly even fazed as a fire extinguisher came flying through from the other side. Instinctively, he blamed Klaus, as he'd always been the most impulsive one. Five ran his hand over the passage where she spoke about him one last time, hoping against hope that she'd still see him as her friend and confidant, as someone who _loved_ her more than he loved himself.

Five jumped, finally ready to return to the place he'd called home.

She was standing there with Luther, Allison, Diego, and Klaus. They looked the same as the bodies he'd found in the rubble all those years ago, except they were very much alive. As long as they were alive, there was hope.

All of his focus was on Vanya, even as he realized that he was now back in his thirteen-year-old body and at his father's funeral. He stood between Klaus and Allison as Luther poured out the ashes, but kept his eyes on Vanya.

She hardly looked at him.

_When you're feeling low, I will be there too_

That night in her apartment, when they were finally able to have their first real conversation alone, his anger bubbled to the surface when his explanation for his whereabouts was met with disbelief. He'd survived for too damn long not to be believed, and he was ready to storm out.

Even if doing so would hurt like hell.

Then she'd all but begged him to stay and talk. He froze by the door, turning back to look at the woman who'd possessed a hold on his heart for so long and didn't even know it. She was giving him a sad look not unlike the one on her face when he'd first left the Academy. "It's been a long time, and I don't wanna lose you again."

That was enough for him to not leave her behind. She still wanted him to be with her, even if she saw him differently now (he was pissed beyond belief that he'd gone back to having the body of a child). Five decided that all he could do was tell Vanya the truth about the apocalypse.

The world was ending in eight days, and he had no idea how to stop it—there was no guarantee that he'd be able to prevent it, especially not with the Commission on his tail.

He decided that the least he could do was take a stab at making things right. He had to.

It was the only way he'd have a chance at getting Vanya to love and want him again, the way he'd loved and wanted her for the last 45 years of his life. And if he was able to stop the world from ending after all, taking the time to begin to make things right with Vanya would be well worth it.


End file.
